Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Today, indulge yourself in the symphony of silence, revel in the labyrinth of your thoughts and soothe those terrible aches with a burning cuppa camomile(: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c38TpSwiPmcThe solemnity of the video rang loud in my ears. I rather liked his delivery. That speck of sadness hanging to every single note and at the same time tinged with some bitterness, as if to challenge the death of someone great. Someone who could have gone away peacefully instead of an awful death, painful and torturous. A wave of melancholy and tranquility washed over me as I watched this. Brought me back to how I watch people sleep. I'd take a second look, to confirm the rise and fall of their chest, just to make sure they're still with me. The revelation that life is indeed so very precious and not to be taken granted for gnaws at me. I'd hate to lose someone dear. Seem to have landed myself in a catch-22. Stuck between wanting to be a childishly immature teen dependent on someone wise for everything, to wanting to be someone who stands on her own two feet. The former wins hands down for now. The latter's catching up pretty fast though. Strangely overwhelmed by a strong sense of responsibility to share family troubles, to give some words of advice, to be a source of comfort for someone else. The more I feel that, the more I find myself being kiddish, snuggling up to my parents etc. Very not befitting of an adult's actions eh? Not that adults can't snuggle up to their parents. It's just not the stereotypical adult I have in mind.I've been pondering over awkward silences about awkward silences. I'll catch myself chuckling at the back of my mind about the awkwardness of the situation and wondering why people get embarrassed at these times. It's real funny! Especially if you can see people racking their brains for something to say. Even more hilarious if they ask some half-witted question that no one would ever ask. All that rubbish just to fill up the silence. It doesn't kill! Wouldn't you choose silence over listening to some conversation that's totally a waste of your brain cells? I mean, you wouldn't mind the silence when you're with someone you like. Would you? I wouldn't. In fact, I'll probably get comfortable, entertain myself with my own musings, drift off with some song in my head and wonder if my friend is thinking the same thoughts as I am. Solitude gives us time to slow down and find peace amidst the activity ain't it? Anyway, as much as I derive pleasure from silence, I must say that it isn't a very favourable habit to cultivate. Not in this society anyway. You'd be labeled inept by the communications department, a big boo-boo. Guess it's time to rack my brains for something to say lest I wreck my brains listening to daft conversations. Would love to banter on with my mumbo-jumbo but it's time to rest and prepare for another harrowing day! I bid farewell to thee. Goodnight and have a pleasant day ahead. The week's almost done anyway.love jia.
posted @ 1:27 AM
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Anyone in an ebullient mood today?-raises an arm-Had the good fortune of chancing upon Mika's new album yesterday(: I'd say it's pretty darn good. And I'd applaud him for all that vigor and zest displayed in the official videos! There's some crazy pent up energy stuck in that boy. No doubt bout that uh huh. The song Toy Boy's my favourite by far, swellingly wicked! Spent the entire night replaying the album while finishing up the fourth book. Did I mention that I managed to get the book Dad asked me to borrow from the library? Hahaha, I am going to develop a brilliant brain in weeks! It's somewhat fun. Piqued my interest, soooo, we'll see how it goes! Gonna be embroiled in some hectic schedules come tomorrow morning onwards. Putting a full-stop to this long vacation...I'll be sure to miss it!Granny's out of the hospital(: Managed to avoid the much dreaded operation since there wasn't any further cracks in the bones after the second scan. Though there is still the issue of how long the initial cracks will take to heal without an op. ahwells, nothing beats recuperating in the comforts of your own home ya? That's something worth rejoicing. Oh, her being home means we' d be able to celebrate the Mooncake Festival at her place this year! Not that big a fan of mooncakes but it's still a sweet old festival where we spend time together, play with sparklers and carry lanterns around the estate. Well, I might just miss the taste of mooncakes next year! Missed nette just by a little when I was visiting gram's. ughhh, missing my ipody much! Seems to me that there's quite a few "missings" in this post. HAHA!Might have to stop violin a tad earlier than expected :( unless I'm prepared to travel all the way to Balestier for lessons. That place is like a hundred times more sleazy and ulu compared to where I'm taking lessons now! Flummoxed by Jacky's decision to close this branch down instead of the other one. Hurrr, he sucks. Maybe's he's never studied cost benefit analysis. Probably...My macky's suffering from what's supposedly called "the spinning beach ball of death". Very apt name indeed. It's a pesky little syndrome. Trying to live with it though. Thinking of it as a reminder to not have too many things on my plate lest I burn myself out with the myriad of activities. It only spins when I open to many applications or windows you see..yup. Full plates just reminded me of the doctor's advice from ytd too. Eat more meals in smaller portions so as to ease the discomfort and regurgitations. Now I've got an excuse to not eat so much of the food I dislike and to snack more! Doctors for the win! She did tell me to avoid caffeine and spicy and oily food too, and I had all of them just today :/ No regurt yet though. Should be the smaller portions playing their part. All's well!(:I'm craving for avocado somethings now. The longing for chips has eased somehow. Might have had a surfeit of em after goodness knows how many packets I consumed! Whipped up some really delish prata today. Very nutritious toppings, very little oil and very small portions too(: I can take care of myself really well, thank you very much. Alrighty, gotta tend to my virtual farm and head for bed in a mo. G'night world!love jia. you are not privy to my thoughts;
posted @ 11:11 PM
Sunday, September 20, 2009
It's been a while since I held a book in my hands. Shocked myself by finishing two in three days. Am halfway through the third one now. Perhaps an outlet to the excess of time I have on my hands! Good thing's that all the books have been good thus far. Four more sitting on my bedside, inviting my eyes to a feast.
I love green. A trip to botanic gardens confirmed my overflowing fondness for the colour. Was basking in the vast expanse of greenery in the garden with a few kids. Had a remarkable time! It was nice to visit the place again after almost a decade!
Grandma fell down from her bed yesterday and had to be admitted to the hospital last night. Cracked a few bones and might need an operation come next week. Had these emotions welling up as I held her hand while she slept fitfully, though I know deep down that she'd be fine. You can never worry too much can you?
Tuition kid almost caused mayhem to my mind yesterday. There was thunderstorm brewing, both in my mind and back in this world. Could feel my eyes burning into that thick skull of his, willing him to give me the right answer and prove me wrong about the lack of brain cells. Abhorred his ignorance and attitude! UGH. Every lesson is turning into "Let's learn the art of patience" sessions. I could vomit bile. Literally! So fuming mad that it led to a bout of headaches. Ahha, but I kinda got lazy and canceled on them today. Trying not to spoil their Hari Raya celebrations with more tuition and stern words okay!
My favourite songs have been coming up on shuffle a lot more lately. Marche Slave's been slaving away in my head too! I like(: Can't wait for lesson in a good nine hours time. Will be starting on the second movement!
-clap clap clap!-
I've been having tirades in my head all week now. Getting rather peeved! Any suggestions to soothe this annoying ruckus? They're taking a toll on the eyebags :/
Hahaha. Feel like I'm becoming a wee bit more dramatic of late. Ahwell, dramatic's way better than boring isn't it. I'd like to think so(:
Quite eager to see how life would be come next February. Talked to many about it and it excites me tremendously! Also thought that I should take a picture of myself daily(while in Aussieland). Just to follow up on the change that might happen. Riveting eh??
Aye, dawn's breaking soon! Better catch some shut eye lest I under perform later on. Shut the brain down from more mumble jumble too. Haha(:
Stay healthy and energetic folks, and have a merry long weekend!
love jia.
P.S: Christmas is in three months time!
posted @ 12:45 AM
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain."-If you could see me now, Cecelia Ahern-
posted @ 1:13 PM
Sunday, September 13, 2009
half of sept's gone! there's this feeling that something enormous is looming, brewing...it rattles and unsettles somewhat. in spite of that, life is still delightfully delightful(:
the birthday feasts lasted for quite some time. i swear i didn't have to whip my wallet out for anything at all for at least a week! twas a awesome feeling. HAHA. definitely gotta shout out a loud "THANK YOU!" to all those who went out of their way to surprise me, send their abundance of well wishes and love, those who took time off their jam packed schedules to celebrate my birthday and create such fond memories with me :D this is one year where my birthday truly mattered and one that I very much looked forward to. the next six birthdays will be somewhere rather far from home! yups, i really really would remember this smaashing nineteenth birthday of mine!
episodes of drama in the past week created some big hooha for us. but the family's been rather tight knitted of late. something that's been whirring on in the deep recesses of my mind for a long while. whoever said that mishaps bring people close together is really a wise man. i'm both thankful and glad for that(: gives me the peace of mind to go abroad and pursue my dreams without fretting over what might possibly happen back home. yay to my wonderful family!
double yay for impending trip with bff, more outings, garage sale and a good paying job that allows me to suck a truckload of knowledge!
and boy has it been long since i got extra exhilarated from learning new violin pieces(: had an ultra fun time with the teacher today. and i think i played well! (taking into consideration that i was sight reading) heh. and it's prolly the first time in a few months since i prac-ed seriously too. ahhha..
all i'd like to do now is to take a step back and relish this magnificent life i've been blessed with. take care kiddos!
love jia.
posted @ 11:06 PM
Friday, September 04, 2009
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
posted @ 1:20 AM
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Today, indulge yourself in the symphony of silence, revel in the labyrinth of your thoughts and soothe those terrible aches with a burning cuppa camomile(: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c38TpSwiPmcThe solemnity of the video rang loud in my ears. I rather liked his delivery. That speck of sadness hanging to every single note and at the same time tinged with some bitterness, as if to challenge the death of someone great. Someone who could have gone away peacefully instead of an awful death, painful and torturous. A wave of melancholy and tranquility washed over me as I watched this. Brought me back to how I watch people sleep. I'd take a second look, to confirm the rise and fall of their chest, just to make sure they're still with me. The revelation that life is indeed so very precious and not to be taken granted for gnaws at me. I'd hate to lose someone dear. Seem to have landed myself in a catch-22. Stuck between wanting to be a childishly immature teen dependent on someone wise for everything, to wanting to be someone who stands on her own two feet. The former wins hands down for now. The latter's catching up pretty fast though. Strangely overwhelmed by a strong sense of responsibility to share family troubles, to give some words of advice, to be a source of comfort for someone else. The more I feel that, the more I find myself being kiddish, snuggling up to my parents etc. Very not befitting of an adult's actions eh? Not that adults can't snuggle up to their parents. It's just not the stereotypical adult I have in mind.I've been pondering over awkward silences about awkward silences. I'll catch myself chuckling at the back of my mind about the awkwardness of the situation and wondering why people get embarrassed at these times. It's real funny! Especially if you can see people racking their brains for something to say. Even more hilarious if they ask some half-witted question that no one would ever ask. All that rubbish just to fill up the silence. It doesn't kill! Wouldn't you choose silence over listening to some conversation that's totally a waste of your brain cells? I mean, you wouldn't mind the silence when you're with someone you like. Would you? I wouldn't. In fact, I'll probably get comfortable, entertain myself with my own musings, drift off with some song in my head and wonder if my friend is thinking the same thoughts as I am. Solitude gives us time to slow down and find peace amidst the activity ain't it? Anyway, as much as I derive pleasure from silence, I must say that it isn't a very favourable habit to cultivate. Not in this society anyway. You'd be labeled inept by the communications department, a big boo-boo. Guess it's time to rack my brains for something to say lest I wreck my brains listening to daft conversations. Would love to banter on with my mumbo-jumbo but it's time to rest and prepare for another harrowing day! I bid farewell to thee. Goodnight and have a pleasant day ahead. The week's almost done anyway.love jia.
---1:27 AM---
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Anyone in an ebullient mood today?-raises an arm-Had the good fortune of chancing upon Mika's new album yesterday(: I'd say it's pretty darn good. And I'd applaud him for all that vigor and zest displayed in the official videos! There's some crazy pent up energy stuck in that boy. No doubt bout that uh huh. The song Toy Boy's my favourite by far, swellingly wicked! Spent the entire night replaying the album while finishing up the fourth book. Did I mention that I managed to get the book Dad asked me to borrow from the library? Hahaha, I am going to develop a brilliant brain in weeks! It's somewhat fun. Piqued my interest, soooo, we'll see how it goes! Gonna be embroiled in some hectic schedules come tomorrow morning onwards. Putting a full-stop to this long vacation...I'll be sure to miss it!Granny's out of the hospital(: Managed to avoid the much dreaded operation since there wasn't any further cracks in the bones after the second scan. Though there is still the issue of how long the initial cracks will take to heal without an op. ahwells, nothing beats recuperating in the comforts of your own home ya? That's something worth rejoicing. Oh, her being home means we' d be able to celebrate the Mooncake Festival at her place this year! Not that big a fan of mooncakes but it's still a sweet old festival where we spend time together, play with sparklers and carry lanterns around the estate. Well, I might just miss the taste of mooncakes next year! Missed nette just by a little when I was visiting gram's. ughhh, missing my ipody much! Seems to me that there's quite a few "missings" in this post. HAHA!Might have to stop violin a tad earlier than expected :( unless I'm prepared to travel all the way to Balestier for lessons. That place is like a hundred times more sleazy and ulu compared to where I'm taking lessons now! Flummoxed by Jacky's decision to close this branch down instead of the other one. Hurrr, he sucks. Maybe's he's never studied cost benefit analysis. Probably...My macky's suffering from what's supposedly called "the spinning beach ball of death". Very apt name indeed. It's a pesky little syndrome. Trying to live with it though. Thinking of it as a reminder to not have too many things on my plate lest I burn myself out with the myriad of activities. It only spins when I open to many applications or windows you see..yup. Full plates just reminded me of the doctor's advice from ytd too. Eat more meals in smaller portions so as to ease the discomfort and regurgitations. Now I've got an excuse to not eat so much of the food I dislike and to snack more! Doctors for the win! She did tell me to avoid caffeine and spicy and oily food too, and I had all of them just today :/ No regurt yet though. Should be the smaller portions playing their part. All's well!(:I'm craving for avocado somethings now. The longing for chips has eased somehow. Might have had a surfeit of em after goodness knows how many packets I consumed! Whipped up some really delish prata today. Very nutritious toppings, very little oil and very small portions too(: I can take care of myself really well, thank you very much. Alrighty, gotta tend to my virtual farm and head for bed in a mo. G'night world!love jia. you are not privy to my thoughts;
---11:11 PM---
Sunday, September 20, 2009
It's been a while since I held a book in my hands. Shocked myself by finishing two in three days. Am halfway through the third one now. Perhaps an outlet to the excess of time I have on my hands! Good thing's that all the books have been good thus far. Four more sitting on my bedside, inviting my eyes to a feast.
I love green. A trip to botanic gardens confirmed my overflowing fondness for the colour. Was basking in the vast expanse of greenery in the garden with a few kids. Had a remarkable time! It was nice to visit the place again after almost a decade!
Grandma fell down from her bed yesterday and had to be admitted to the hospital last night. Cracked a few bones and might need an operation come next week. Had these emotions welling up as I held her hand while she slept fitfully, though I know deep down that she'd be fine. You can never worry too much can you?
Tuition kid almost caused mayhem to my mind yesterday. There was thunderstorm brewing, both in my mind and back in this world. Could feel my eyes burning into that thick skull of his, willing him to give me the right answer and prove me wrong about the lack of brain cells. Abhorred his ignorance and attitude! UGH. Every lesson is turning into "Let's learn the art of patience" sessions. I could vomit bile. Literally! So fuming mad that it led to a bout of headaches. Ahha, but I kinda got lazy and canceled on them today. Trying not to spoil their Hari Raya celebrations with more tuition and stern words okay!
My favourite songs have been coming up on shuffle a lot more lately. Marche Slave's been slaving away in my head too! I like(: Can't wait for lesson in a good nine hours time. Will be starting on the second movement!
-clap clap clap!-
I've been having tirades in my head all week now. Getting rather peeved! Any suggestions to soothe this annoying ruckus? They're taking a toll on the eyebags :/
Hahaha. Feel like I'm becoming a wee bit more dramatic of late. Ahwell, dramatic's way better than boring isn't it. I'd like to think so(:
Quite eager to see how life would be come next February. Talked to many about it and it excites me tremendously! Also thought that I should take a picture of myself daily(while in Aussieland). Just to follow up on the change that might happen. Riveting eh??
Aye, dawn's breaking soon! Better catch some shut eye lest I under perform later on. Shut the brain down from more mumble jumble too. Haha(:
Stay healthy and energetic folks, and have a merry long weekend!
love jia.
P.S: Christmas is in three months time!
---12:45 AM---
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
"When you drop a glass or a plate to the ground it makes a loud crashing sound. When a window shatters, a table leg breaks, or when a picture falls off the wall it makes a noise. But as for your heart, when that breaks, it's completely silent. You would think as it's so important it would make the loudest noise in the whole world, or even have some sort of ceremonious sound like the gong of a cymbal or the ringing of a bell. But it's silent and you almost wish there was a noise to distract you from the pain."-If you could see me now, Cecelia Ahern-
---1:13 PM---
Sunday, September 13, 2009
half of sept's gone! there's this feeling that something enormous is looming, brewing...it rattles and unsettles somewhat. in spite of that, life is still delightfully delightful(:
the birthday feasts lasted for quite some time. i swear i didn't have to whip my wallet out for anything at all for at least a week! twas a awesome feeling. HAHA. definitely gotta shout out a loud "THANK YOU!" to all those who went out of their way to surprise me, send their abundance of well wishes and love, those who took time off their jam packed schedules to celebrate my birthday and create such fond memories with me :D this is one year where my birthday truly mattered and one that I very much looked forward to. the next six birthdays will be somewhere rather far from home! yups, i really really would remember this smaashing nineteenth birthday of mine!
episodes of drama in the past week created some big hooha for us. but the family's been rather tight knitted of late. something that's been whirring on in the deep recesses of my mind for a long while. whoever said that mishaps bring people close together is really a wise man. i'm both thankful and glad for that(: gives me the peace of mind to go abroad and pursue my dreams without fretting over what might possibly happen back home. yay to my wonderful family!
double yay for impending trip with bff, more outings, garage sale and a good paying job that allows me to suck a truckload of knowledge!
and boy has it been long since i got extra exhilarated from learning new violin pieces(: had an ultra fun time with the teacher today. and i think i played well! (taking into consideration that i was sight reading) heh. and it's prolly the first time in a few months since i prac-ed seriously too. ahhha..
all i'd like to do now is to take a step back and relish this magnificent life i've been blessed with. take care kiddos!
love jia.
---11:06 PM---
Friday, September 04, 2009
Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark
No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
'cause we'll hold each other soon
In the blackest of rooms
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the No's on their vacancy signs
If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark
---1:20 AM---
